Ways that bread can kill you

Ways that bread can kill you

1. You are eating it and choke.
2. Some one beats you with a stick of it.
3. Someone suffocates you with a slice of bread.
4. Using a mega-loaf, someone cuts off the crust and strangles you with it.
5. Someone bakes you into bread, and somewhere along the baking process you die (most likely the cooking….or the beating with a rolling pin…or kneading………..).
6. You eat it and it's moldy and you die.
7. Someone throws a stale loaf at your head.
8. You trip on it while walking down the street and fall into a sewer and drown.
9. Someone drops a loaf out of an airplane and it hits you on the head (huzzah for momentum).
10. You are Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf smells the bread and eats you (and the bread too……forget Grandma ).
11. You are parachuting with a slice of bread for a parachute and it doesn't work (obviously) and you fall and die.
12. You are feeding ducks, geese, swans, etc. and they all attack and kill you.
13. You're super paranoid and afraid of bread so you search the internet for the name of that phobia, and upon finding none, you die of anxiety.